Like you, I wonder if the "missionary zeal" is not a flash in the pan, and
not a true change of the construct. If it works, great. I suspect saying
that eating leaves "less time to spend praying or otherwise thinking about
God" may indicate less of a change in a construct and more of a temporary
change.
I also wanted to comment on your image of God. I do hope that image can
change from a "very cross, fat man with a white beard." Have you ever
considered how that may relate to your past? Many times our image of God
gets tangled up in what we experienced at the hands of our parents when we
were children. That was true for me, and your description of God is mild
compared to what mine was. However, as I've healed, I've found my God is
Spirit, neither male nor female, truly a creator who cares about creation
and helps each who asks. I hope you find this as well.
Iris
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